What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Randomize