You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
