I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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