you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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