can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I skipped work to stalk him.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bit a glass in half.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize