I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
