Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
