We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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