White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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