her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
i wish my penis had a tongue
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
