he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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