I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Randomize
