Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
