he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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