Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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