there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
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