Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Randomize