my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize