What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
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