you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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