aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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