Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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