I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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