no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
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It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
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she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle