Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.