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he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Sorry my hands just texted you
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
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