Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
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It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
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I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"