shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...