I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
