Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Please don't give away my fajitas
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
