my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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