she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
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