Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
