I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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