i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
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That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
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I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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