I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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