Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
