Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
