My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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