he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
You need Xanax blowdarts
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Randomize
