yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
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There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
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So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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