just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
