i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.