I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
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Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."