I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism