I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.