i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
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I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
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Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I just want to make out with him forever
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.