Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!