So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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