My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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