lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Randomize
