Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
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