am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
