This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
