From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
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