So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
