You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize