i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
