Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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