So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
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I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
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I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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